Fanning the Flames of Singledom

Ma. Katrina Lucas

Whenever people talk about love, lust, infatuation and everything in between, conflagration metaphors abound. Burning flames of love, the fire of love, passion burning with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns...I could go on and on, but then I'd be wasting writing space.

However, love isn't the only thing that sizzles this February (or during any month, for that matter). There's barbecue, prof rage, and... being single.

That's right.

Singledom – which, by the way, should become a real dictionary word – can and will also burn with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. Being free from commitment also means being free to spend one's flaming passion on other things.

It's good for one's self-efficacy – one's belief that one's capability and skills can produce desired effects. It is affected by many factors – social interactions, your actions, etc. If you're single, that means any time you would spend holding hands or going out on dates with your significant other goes into mastery experiences, and as you practice whatever you want to be good at – well, I highly doubt you'd reach perfection, but it's a nice feeling to be acing something, no?

And you don't have to deal with the love of your life bringing you down if he (or she) is that kind of person (or is simply jealous). Hearing stuff like that from someone pretty close to you can take a toll on your self-confidence, yet many people are willing to flash “taken” signs despite verbal abuse.

Of course, if no one wants to motivate you, just do it yourself. Being single gives you more opportunities to do so, to pamper yourself instead of the person latched onto your hand and demanding compliments every two seconds. Not that it's wrong to motivate others; it's just that you also need some of that, and you can't always badger people to hand it to you. It links back to the whole self-efficacy concept.

You don't have to spend all that free time actually doing something. We singles have to strike a balance – with serious business, not-so-serious business and non-business, otherwise we'd find ourselves breaking under pressure. Anyone, single or otherwise, wouldn't want an excess of stress.

“Too” stressed out? Stress, which we'll describe as “reactions to changes,” can be good for us, but at a certain level. If you experience too little, you've got a complacency problem and a boring life. And too much...we all know what that does. Without having to worry about someone who holds your heart and how said someone may suddenly drop it, you can strike out one stressful aspect of your life. No mulling over dates, anniversaries and the right brand of chocolate.

So this February, why not celebrate Singles Awareness Day by buy yourself a box of chocolates, a bouquet of flowers, or a meal at your favorite restaurant? Then spread the (self-)love by hanging out with your fellow singles! Happy SAD, everyone!