Hillaryous! An Exclusive Singa Interview

Repressed ang Ribcage

Last November 13, may nangyari. Kasi ano, may ano, pumunta dito. Yung sikat, ganyan. Pangalan niya Hillary Calintong, tapos branch manager siya ng Mang Donald's, tapos siya yung extra sa Gossip Girl nung isang araw. Ganon. Anyway. Papunta siya nun sa isang interview, pero kasi naman dun sa pupuntahan niya, BAWAL MAGTANONG kung hindi ka a.) intsik na basketball player, o b.) kapangalan ni Jackie Chan. Kaya sumabit na lang ako sa gulong ng limos-sine. At against all evens (kasi diba "odds" 'yon, tapos pinalitan ko ng "evens," kasi diba may ano, ganon, sa math? Gets mo, gets mo?) nakakuha pa rin ang Singa ng isang EXCLUSIVE interview. Na dito niyo lang mababasa. Kasi nga, ano, exclusive siya. Ang saya-saya, ano?

S: Hi po. Hehe. Kumusta?
HC: I’m thrilled to be here. Thank you so much for doing this.

S: Doing... what?
HC: I’m just happy to be here with all of you.

S: Ano? Ma’am ako lang nandito. Ibaba niyo nga po muna 'yung script, pang-mamaya pa 'yan eh.
HC: (Laughter)

S: Ay labo. Sige, sige. So where are we, you know, going?
HC: This great university, which I just learned has a total of 44,000 students, the director told me. It’s amazing.

S: What, what you, gawa, do? There?
HC: I say hello to everyone.

S: Ah. 'Sa bagay. Eh ma’am, what do you think of our country?
HC: This is my third trip to the Philippines and it is such an honor to be back. And I look forward to returning in the future, because our friendship and our partnership.

S: Eh ano namang problema niyo at andito kayo?
HC: I talked about it in my official meetings, and the State Department has pointed out areas that we believe could be improved.

S: Ows? Tulad ng mga alin?
HC: In respect to the conflict in Mindanao, we have provided training and assistance, but not involvement in combat by United States forces.

S: No involvement in combat?
HC: We are going to continue to provide support where appropriate, in partnership, and in pursuance of the friendship that we feel for the people of the…

S: Hindi nga. Wala talaga?
HC: It is a facilitating and supportive role to fight those who would disrupt communities, who would engage in terrorist activities…

S: Weh, maniwala. SHOOOWBIIIIIIZ!
HC: We do have a long history of partnership and of friendship, of alliance, and we want to continue to be a good friend and a good partner.

S: Oh siya, okay fine, sabi mo eh. Next que—
HC: So the most common comment that we hear from around the country is from people who say “We want your help to enable us to defend ourselves, and then once we can, we want you to leave.” Well, that’s exactly what we want.

S: Oo nga, we believe you—
HC: the United States wants to help facilitate peace. I mean, that is one of our goals. And if we can be helpful in talking with the government or talking with the leadership of the MILF, we stand ready to do so.

S: So--
HC: The United States wants to be a good partner. We are trying to look at ways that we can provide more assistance to the Philippines to tackle poverty.

S: Okay, OKAY. GETS NA NGA. Next question. What do you think of our dear President Glory be her name?
HC: Well, let me say first that I think every person has the opportunity to make the most of their own lives.

S: *KRU KRU KRU* Ano namang opinyon niyo sa, ano, human rights issues dito?
HC: The United States believes very strongly in the importance of human rights. It is something that is part of our founding document, the Bill of Rights... And it is very important that we constantly work toward protecting human rights.<

S: Kumusta naman ang foreign policy niyo sa Mang Donald's? May bago ba?
HC: We are working on food security.

S: Hahaha! Tama, tama. Pero yun lang?
HC: Well, I think that there have been a lot of changes in our approach and our openness and our willingness to reach out to people with whom we do not agree. We’re trying to find positive cooperation, not competition in the political arena. We have made it clear that human rights and democracy are very important.

S: Ay. Ano nga ulit sinasabi niyo? Na-distract ako sa necklace niyo eh. Shiiiiny. Hehe. Arbor?
HC: I think there has to be a socioeconomic approach... There will be more assistance on economic development. But there ultimately has to be a political framework within which that socioeconomic activity takes place. So I see it as a joint strategy.

S: Nyahaha. Andaming terms oh.
HC: So we will continue to raise questions, but we’ll also continue, as a friend does, to offer whatever assistance we can

S: I-offer mo na lang kasi sa akin sabi ang necklace mo, ate! Parang hindi tayo close, e ang lalim na ng pinag-uusapan natin.
HC: The United States wants to be a partner for those who are willing and able to stand up for themselves and that’s what we see happening in the Philippines.

S: SOOOOO--I can't stand up for myself kasi umaasa ako sa arbor, GANUN? Hindi mo naman kailangan idamay ang US at Pilipinas kung ayaw mo ipahiram. Heniway highway, Mani-lang Forum na…
HC: Yes, absolutely.

S: O siya, alis na nga ako.
HC: Thank you all very much.

Hay! Thank you din sa yo, ate, kahit wiz mong binigay sa akin ang kuwintas mo. Howell! ▪